Be careful what you wish for.

And everything is perfect, as it should be.

I think it's time.

Considering enrolling. Either first sem 2012 or 2013!!!! 

Weeeeeeooohewwwww! The more I read about it, the more I feel something fresh and new and right tugging and tugging...! Hopefully this hunch isn't delirious!

Chocolates And Cigarettes

still too young to fail,too scared to sail away,but one of these daysI'll grow old and I'll grow braveand I'llgo...

-------

I love it when it rains here.

Rinses away the haze and reveals a sky reminiscent of home. Blue, with the addition of a mountainous backdrop.

The sun always shines afterward. always.

Archery.

Today I went to the Sunway Pyramid Mall with Ben.

It's hugeeeeeemungous. Has a theme park connected to it, a hotel as well as um.. a mall SEPARATED INTO TWO PARRRTS!! :O:O:O

Photos to come shortly..when I get them resized  hehehe, 18 megapixels = longer upload/more net usaaage etccc.

We did some archery. YES. ARCHERY. IN A MALL.
and then watched Cowboys VS Aliens.
Surprisingly, it was actually quite good (we both had zero expectation but there was nothing else to see)!
Annnnd yeah, I would definitely recommend it!
Harrison Ford. Daniel Craig. Very goood.

(PRETTYGIRL SAYS HI BTW)

...................blergh. Shall update/edit/insert pics laterrawr!

<3 exxxoh. Mzzz.

The Dream

Dear future Me.

When you read this, I want you to remember that this upcoming list is something you’ve been musing mentally, and even verbally to a select close few over the last month or two.

Wherever you are now, probably home after an extremely long and overwhelmingly crazy and fantastic and interesting 6 months overseas, I want you to know that despite how you feel (up in the clouds, buzzing, maybe experiencing reverse-culture shock, bit lonely, possibly wanting to run away and just thirsting for more) your feet will eventually come back into contact with the ground and by then, perhaps. Hopefully, hopefully, you will look to this list and it will put things into perspective for you, and have you chasing after something again :D.

You may have seen or heard or experienced things that have changed your mind slightly since writing this, but hey. As of today, 18th of August 2011, this is what you ideally would like to see in the near (immediate)future.

In short:

Go to Malaysia (check!), study in Beijing, come back in one piece, move out, buy a car (preferably/hopefully grandpa’s), get a journalism related internship/work experience, fix a regular volunteering position somewhere, study super hard and graduate end of 2012, work and save save save (while paying rent) so I can travel post-graduating!! :D.
In the meanwhile, don’t forget to practice and continue drawing, possibly take art classes.
Ditto that a la photography, and instruments. Piano and flute. Possibly start violin.

Rargh. You know you’ve wanted that about the instruments for aaaages. Hopefully moving out will = more time for that.. or something. But then that will = more finance needed. Which = more work? MEH! BY NOW YOU’LL HAVE FIGURED IT OUT MIRIAM :D.
And don’t forget, follow your dreams and your heart. No regrets. Don’t worry about what other people say (why is it so easy for me to give other people advice but so hard for me to take my own.) cos if you truly love and have a passion for something Miriam, that drive will help take you there! Have faith in yourself. Trust! (:(:(:

[Insert parable of the oil lamp and mustard seed here.]

As for all your other (teeny) concerns right now... don’t worry too much. In 6 months, you WILL know. The Universe knows! Just have fun. Live life. (:(: And most importantly, stay true.
Seek authenticity.

All the best senorita.

Keep swimming, keep that chin up (:!

-Mizzzz

Sydney.

So it's been four weeks since my last post. . .

It's been an absolute whirlwind, and I don't in the slightest apologise, either :P.
I've been filling the time with working, hanging out with friends, spending time with family...all because it's been the last four weeks I can do so, at least for another 25 weeks, technically almost 6 months!

I'm currently writing from my cousins, the Lee's house.
Arrived in Malaysia yesterday, spending some time/holidaying with the cousins before I embark on my trip to Beijing, China for a semester of uni exchange!

I week prior to that I spent four days in Sydney too. Also to see family and a few of my friends before I headed off.

Beautiful Stephy 8).

Touch-screen order Japanese restaurant and Karaoke Bar with childhood buddies, Alex & Ben and Frenchie cousins, Will & Geoffrey <3.

Geoff, Will and Laura <33

 

....and climbed THIS badboi!

I've realised that I've traveled more than any other period in my life this year. Malaysia, Hong Kong and China Dec-Jan. Malaysia (yes again) in February. Sydney in March. and more locally Theodore and Mt Tambourine in June and July! :O Lucky lucky ducky is me!

As you may also be able to detect in the above photos (aside from the last 3) I also have acquired a new camera. A Cannon 600D. My first SLR! A digital one, at that!! Happy Early 21st Birthday to meee! Love, Mum and Dad. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!


I do hope to be able to fill you in on what I get up to each day! And kind of in turn.. practice/up my writing skills... Bit lacklustre atm, huh?

I've been dreaming a lot.... but it needs to be put into action to actually mean anything so...WATCH THIS SPACE!!


All my love! xxoo Mizzzzz

Sunshine.

Lotso, Astrid & Leon (:

Astrid<3.

Bathroom daily motivationals. Relevant.

Happy Birthday Bryony!!! Courtesy of Dan's camera 8)

<3. Your Sunshine (:

Maybe he's right.

Exactly 4 weeks from now I'll be doing the last minute checking, packing, freaking out? before heading to the airport in a few hours...

Exactly four weeks from now I wonder if the following realisation will be set in stone, or will have passed as a momentary revelation...

The switch that has flicked within me, and allowed the channel of my heart to communicate something to my brain, and vice-versa that:

He's right.

I love him.

(:

Lucky.

Blessed, even :).

It's been 9 whole days since my last post, I am so sorry.

But yes, regarding the title of this post, blessed is what I realise I am. Yes, despite waking up with a sore throat yesterday and keeping a low profile at home today to try and recover from my poor blocked and runny nose.

I got a text from Colin this afternoon, asking what I'm up to tonight. After letting him know I'm too sick to go out, he's coming round to my place to chill instead (: I miss hanging with him, he's like a big brother to me and quite frankly, it's been far, far too long since we last hung out. We've both just been insanely busy xD.

Prior to this, I received a postcard in the mail! All the way from New York from my longtime church buddy who's holidaying there, Rom. Now Romnick is pretty much my saviour lol, he's ALWAAAAYS been there in my time of dire need. And oh em gee am I ever thankful, and prolly still owe him about 10 Happy Meals for :P.

Then Wednesday, Yannick took me out for a drive and we grabbed dinner and had a decent catch up (:
I love my friends. So so much. It's these peeps I hold so close to my heart that I will miss the most.

Thursday I popped around to visit Bryony, ran into Ash and Larissa en route, so had a quick chat too. Twas a BEAUTIFUL day I recall. Thomas and Samantha were also with Bry too, so we listened as she shared about what had happened on her birthday. . . (was not the greatest birthday, to say the least).

Tuesday night, I popped around to Dan's work with some Maccas for dinner which we chowed down before nipping off to Larissa's for HP7.1 We all dressed up and even got our snap put up on B105! After this we headed to the midnight session premiere of the Harry Potter finale! LAST EVER T__T!! Twas GREAT! I do actually want to see it again AND read it of course (it's the only one I've not read...plus half of book #6..xD).

So I've been really quite busy, if not working then catching up with friends ^____^!

IT'S EXACTLY A MONTH. ONE MONTH BEFORE I JETSET OFF FOR 5+ months/25 weeks/175 days. :O. This fact is s l o w l y  dawning on me. It's hit everyone else around me..ie: mother, family.. close friend, but I seem to be taking it as it comes...YAY ADVENTUUUURE! XDXD!

Eeeeeeeee, well, here's to hoping I get better soon!

Sayonara, lovers!

xxoo Mizz.

Observation.

I notice everything.

I noticed that you took down those photos. of you and me.

And of her. And of any involving you and a girl in close proximity, for that matter.

Is this stalkerish? Or am I overly observant? Paranoid? No. The observation is what prompted it, anyhow, not vice versa.

Should I be concerned? Maybe it's to late to wonder that. 

I suppose there's a good reason for anything you do, and I can guess as much. It's probably nothing personal, but I can't help but feel a teensy, tiny bit hurt.

It's just that things don't seem as right as usual and this does nothing but add to it.

Don't drag out whatever is impending. I feel a little bit more of me is put on the line, the more time, thought and emotion I invest in you...

There's no better time than now.

sajkdfhlskdhfsadgflsakd

mzz.

Seed.

every seed dies before it grows...



And then I googled it.. and found a blog.. that featured this.

^"1 There is a time for everything,

       and a season for every activity under heaven:   

² a time to be born and a time to die,

       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,

       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,

       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,

       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,

       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,

       a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

For the most part, I can take it. Trust it. Accept it. But I'll tell you a secret: it's my heart that finds it difficult to acknowledge and accept this.

que sera.

-Mizz.

Drive-In.

As she stared out her window,

The stars twinkled, hazy in the slightly overcast night sky,

passing by quickly as the car eased onto the motorway, the buildings,

she let her senses succumb to the night, inhaled it, breathed it.

It wouldn't be long before she'd be in an entirely different place, faraway from this city she'd grown up in.

Home.

Soon she'd be in a place sixty-five times the population of her own country. sixty-five! The thought itself overwhelmed and excited her all at once. One amongst billions. billions.
But where did that leave her now? To attach or detach? She was more inclined to believe that detachment was imminent, surely.
Or was she over thinking things, again...
---

Went to the Drive-in last night with Dan. A first for the both of us. We watched Kung Fu Panda 2! A sufficient sequel, at that. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Thank you grabone, for the amazing deal that included two tickets, two large soft drinks and one large MEGA tub of popcorn! We barely even got through a third of it!

Followed by dessert at Freestyle tout at the Emporium. I wish I had taken a photo to show, seriously beautiful, delectable yum-alicious goods. -Just as Kung Fu Panda said, helped me (read: my stomach) find inner peace :P.

I selected the passionfruit-curd tard, which came with a white chocolate cream filled cannoli and a scoop of blood-orange icecream (topped with a delicately thin, crisp slice of candied blood-orange.) Gastronomical experience and a half!

Headed home and we adorned the rumpus room furniture (and clothes airer) with blankets to build a modest fort (: Hahahhaaa, remember like when you were young? <3.

And that was a night!

----

It's now 11.39pm and I really should get packing considering the bus for Theodore will be leaving at 4.30 in the morning for our 7 our road trip (yes, via bus) to help those in the small country town who were affected by the floods.

I spent the afternoon/evening with a bunch of other workers, as we collected all the things listed on the shopping lists... such a different experience, being a customer-customer. You know, the one's who stack up flat packs on their trolleys dangerously high...it's no easy feat. Then navigating the damn trolley... oh wow.. hahahha.

But yes, the marvel-worthy thing, (-aside from the free hotdogs) would be the shirts we were given, yeeew, REPRESENT!

:D

Let's pray it's a successss! Note to self: warm clothes, update ipod, Dorian Gray. (* I WILL start AND finish it..and of course, return the copy to it's rightful owner, Mr Pancake P;).

NIGHT, LOVERS! 

-Mzzzzzzz

Jenny.

I just finished watching Forrest Gump, for the first time ever. (:

Having not seen any trailers or actually been told the plot before (aside the memorable "Run Forrest, Run" and "Life is a box of chocolates..." quotes), and so the movie for me was indeed, quite the box of chocolates. I didn't realise the length of it! 2-and-a-something hours!

It was truly a beautiful, inspiring tale, and according to trusty ol' Wiki, based on a novel by Winston Groom. Certainly would love to get my hands onto that! -And back into reading, at that.

Hmm update shmupdate: I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED UNI SEMESTER 1, 2011 as of Monday, 1pm! WOOOOP WOOOOOP! Haahahaha, after which I met up with Kim, and we trekked into the city together for a bite and a browse (lunch at Suncrane, city and window-shopping!)

Met up with Danni and David at 4, and we went to visit Bryony together!

WHOM I AM SO SUPER PROUD OF! She's making ASTOUNDING, miraculous progress! Could not be more inspired by her determination. (:(:

While in the dining room, a gentleman and comedian of a guy, Ben came and introduced himself.

Humbled. Graced. Absolute hero. His positivity and outlook on life is simply one to admire and aim for.

Headed home after that, had some deener and slept amazing!

-

Today was just a few house chores, lunch @ Top Noodle with Yannick (and my aunt for about 5), and then we hung out with Jieun and Sera for a while at Kangaroo Point.

Yannick grabbed some pizzas (cheap Tuesday!) en route home, which we half-demolished at Riverdale Park, just lazing about on a park bench and table (:

Saighhh good as the day was, I didn't get to see the person I wanted to see most ): 

I know it's been especially hard on you lately, and upon stumbling across a particular image -courtesy of Jon's .tumblr, I would like to dedicate it to you :).

Sleepytimes thinks I!

-Keep soldiering on, whether you be cramming it up or finding life a bit rainy..

A RAINBOW AWAITS YOU C:

Hehehe. 

<3. Mizz

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY YEEEEEEE!!!!!

travel

so my mind is in all places it shouldn't be, especially at a time I should be well-investing in this here study: 

I've been checking out wowspectacularmazing blogs, of people with super interesting, amazing lives and visual/literary perspectives to match. All of which evoke wonder and awe in me, and inspire me to do the same. How the mind loves to wander!

Well, I am indeed looking forward to traveling in the very near future indeed, and I can say I am very much anticipating the following two weekends which will consist of Theodore and Mt Tambourine, respectively. I won't yet reveal the reasons for these trips, as that would cause me to stray down the alleyway of procrastination 2.0, and this is certainly not the time nor place, if I've not already strayed far enough!!

Ahhhh, I have also been working on a list of short and long term dreams and desires (hopefully on the more feasible-achievable side), which I may or may not publish here in the near futures. It will be an ever-growing list though, this I know for fact. Hahahah, so perhaps an embed in le sidebar or something would better suffice.

Something else I've been doing of late is having fun with scarves..

so much fun P:

Friday's (yesterday's) outfit.

ohgoshlol. speshul, this kid. The scarf makes it 8).

eeheeheeheee...?! -Tonight's accessory to God's Pad.

Yayyyy! Actually just realised both scarves are both courtesy of my mama's closet :3. GAWSHBEMORESTYLISH,PLZ! Hahahhaa, I love her. I love these. Clish-clash mish-mash? Meh! I LOVE COLOURAWR...but apparently you all knew that. Life is too short to be boring and drab and dull. LIVE IT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Kay, time to get back to Mao Ze Dong and his antics, before's and afters. Weoooop! TWO MORE SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS! Rawr!!

study is bringing out the inner psycho in me. srsly.

Love to the world!

-Mizz<3.

PS: B! I AM SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO  SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!! :,D

youchewb, community channel, NATALIE TRAN.

---

Aside from this procrastinatory lol interweb find, I've actually been up to quite some stuff:

Monday: Worked ...Happy Birthday, Queen ;L! (Double time and a half ftw, what can I say.)
Tuesday: Finished off the audio package, submitted and crammed my butt off for...
Wednesday: 50% exam for Journalism and Mass Comm. Which went prettty alright, albeit a few uh, omgwtf q's from who knows where, but hey, 20% chance of picking the right answer, and as a kind Mr Reynoso advised: 'When in doubt, pick 'C'!' YEAH! Went to visit Bryony after, then had coffee and long long, long overdue catch up with Veronika @ Three Monkeys West End. Iced chocolate for me, her an iced coffee for her, and a chicken focaccia between us both!! NOMMMMZ. PS: Student card = 10% discount guys, as I accidentally found out! Hahahha, ventured into the city afterwards for a spot of shopping, before I headed off to meet Kim, Sera and her friend Andy for some iceskating @ Winter Fest in King George Square! Oh and bumped into the lovely Brit-toe-knee en-route, who was finishing work!
Winterfest: Yay to free chai (courtesy of Lipton hut there) Mmmm soooo good! And hot mulled wine (courtesy of amazing spreets online package deal, now over, sadly ): ) BUT BUMMER AT THE CRAPTACULAR HOT CHOCOLATE ):. More like hot sludgy sweet nothing. ):
But twas a pretty fun night anyhow. We shared a langos (hungarian fried bread) which was also disappointingly cold...SAIGH. Cos those things are usually awesome 8).

Latest acquisition from The Mother's Wardrobe. So colourful and comfy and warm! (:

"That is an AMAZING jumper!"
(Hipster chick, mid zebra crossing, West End, 2011.)

Thursday: Hmmmm then today I visited Dan, had lunch with Carlos then saw Lena for a bit, and then the both of them left me to study in the Brisbane Square Library!

YAYAYYAYA. Gah so tired.. but need to cram.

Rawr Friday tomorrow. BRING IT AWN!!!

Muchos McLovin,

Mizzzzz

Salu-what!?

For you, V. <3

 
Things will be good in good time indeed my GM! (:

-----
Had a massively long day at work. SUPERRRRR BUSSSSSSYYYYY. Seriously, who would've thought long weekends = trips to IKEA on house beautifying/improvement ventures!? Eeeeeeeeeee! But it was tolerable, people were nice. 305 Transactions processed. Pretty proud. More proud of the notes I produced last night for studyyyy, though... 8). Crashed at 4. And now my brain is fried. I should sleep, but must print one more reading.. off to uni tomorrow too yeyeyeyeyyeyeyyyy =____=!!

Wish me luck!!

PS: When Will My Life Begin & I See the Light from Disney's Tangled = bestttttt everrrrrr z'awwwww!

blank.

Something is amiss.

My mind can't quite put a finger on it,

But it's pretty sure my heart knows.

It doesn't hurt either.

Maybe because the gradual decline of our communication already prompted this to come about.

If we mattered so much to each other, we'd try harder.

But we don't because... because we lacked so much to start with.

A foundation. -At least a sturdy one.

Our current priorities too, they differ.

The monster came and kidnapped you with it.

So you've left.

To fight it.

Yet to come home.

And I'm home but I'm leaving.

What will remain?


---



How awesome's Mac's Photobooth's 'color pencil' effect?

Mmmmm...moody mood moods!

I took my worries to the water's edge

My mindpod/mentaljukebox is seriously a mystery. Random songs pop into it ALL the time.. and they always fit...somehow. Musical of my life! Hahahha, well this one started playing tonight and then I remembered, I saw him perform the song live himself last year at the Go-Between Bridge Concert! Mr Bob Evans, alongside....

 It was a rather AMAZING set, to say the very least, seriously, a concert...ON A BRIDGE! -Twas for the opening of the new Go-Between Bridge in the CBD. There's definitely a first for everything! Cannot believe it was almost a year ago too! I went with Phuong, right after Yee's birthday picnic in the Southbank Parklands. I recall Danni was supposed to come along too, my usual festival buddy and BFF but let's just say printing and bringing along a ticket usually helps a great deal :Pl!

Highlights: being pretty petite, Phuong and I were able to nab ourselves a pretty decent view close to the front!
Lowlights: Camera battery dying. I don't think I even managed to get one pic ):
Twas an all-ages concert. Now don't get me wrong, I've nothing against these kids, but they do lack concert etiquette by a long shot!

eg: talking through any song being performed that they'd not heard before/wasn't the latest hit/ONLY SONG that they'd ever heard of.
-and: Yes, you're young, yes you're still in school, and DESPITE YOUR RUDENESS LIKE TALKING THROUGH PERFORMANCES, a concert ground is not where you let people bigger than you ie: adults, barge through in front of you willy-nilly in the spot you'd been standing at (and had saved) for the past (x)amount of time. BECAUSE EVERYONE BEHIND YOU, CONSEQUENTLY, WILL GET NUDGED THAT LITTLE BIT FURTHER BACK! And letting one or two people I can usually tolerate, but when people notice, and you keep letting people through, and people keep noticing, so MORE people keep 'squeezing through' it really does take it's toll when you end up half a mile back from where you started! Sorry I may sound hypocritical right now, and I don't mean to be size-ist or what have you but these people tended to be big people too. Big, TALL people who prevented a would be-epic view of the stage! Gah! And you! BIG PEOPLE! Yeah, you SHOULDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE TOO-POLITE, teeny munchkin under-eighteens! You KNOW they wouldn't push you back... D;


Anyway, there's my year-overdue cover of the Go-Between Bridge Concert.
Now, back to study 8).

OH PS! How amazinglysexycharmingswoonworthyhilarious was Miguel, the chef on Masterchef tonight?! (Yeah, a rare occasion my eyes met the television screen whilst TURNED ON :O!).
Also, my mother baked cookies. Super study fooooood. Fresh, warm. Delicious. Epic with icecream. And Tea.

STAY WARM Y'ALL!!

Many hugshugshugs!

-Mizzzzzcookies! :3

Handball and skipping ropes and lemonade stands...

Oh, and an admirable writer! Such flair... Should see the article he wrote about Jim Morrison's documentary. Stifle a grin, I dare you.

Apologies for the pixeliness due to it's compression.. click to enlarge! Alternatively, check out the actual web article and comments here!

Been at uni all day. Literally 9am-9pm..+ a little more. Pretty happy. Assignment 3 for 2282 95.7% of the way thereee! Wewwww, may soundcloud and post it upon completetion. OR NOT!

Much love, time for sleeeep!

Happy Friday EVE!

:D MIZZZZZ (8.

RESISTING FROM POSTING THIS ON FACEY SO HARD.

(Because I did the nerdy thing and self-banned myself about a week ago til after exams...SO UNNECESSARY AND DISTRACTINNNNGGG.)



Ahahhahahahahaaaaaaa awesome awesome. :D

STUDY HARD I'M GONNA FINISH THIS AUDIO PACKAGE BY TONIIIIIIIIGHT....

(Here's why:
Today = Thursday
Friday = work
Saturday = work
Sunday = only other day I can come into uni to finish this on Audition CS3 if I MUST.
Monday = Labour holiday = lab closed. Plus I'm working.
Tuesday = DUUUUUEEEEEEEE!
Wednesday = EXAAAAMMMMMM!!!)

KBAI! :D

Cut out all the ropes and let me fa-a-all.

Can't get this out of my head. Such a beautiful rendition of Bon Iver's original.
And the lyrics are so... raw and fragile, frustrated, yet doused with passion.



Sorry it's been a while!

Can blame the following :P
JOUR2822 Assignment (30%): 14 June
JOUR3290 Exam (50%): 15 June
LTCS1005 Exam (45%): 20 June.

My best wishes!

-Mizz

Momentary Escape.

click to enlarge, I suppose. (:

night unfurls it's splendour.

Eyebrows furrowed, she tried to focus, but her mind was a spool that had become untangled and tangled all at once. Though she had some idea of what these thoughts encompassed, she knew not where they would lead her in this journey. So much had happened within the few months just passed, to an overwhelming extent. She felt she had grown stronger, yet on the inside, fragile. She wasn’t quite certain how to deal with what life had cast her way, though she was fiercely certain she would be able to wade through it, eventually. Only at present, it was increasingly difficult to see beyond what was directly in front of her. And when the spool did unfurl in that direction, only uncertainty ensued...

----

Cheers, @Teacuplift. 

----

I don’t care how emo I sound.

I feel really...isolated right now. Like no one knows what I’m going through. Yes, I am aware I have amazing family and friends behind me, but it doesn’t ... I don’t know..quite suffice?

My best friends are all literally out of town. D in the UK, S in China, S in Sydney. And this is becoming more and more apparent. I’m a pretty happy independent person as it is, but I miss them. I miss being able to splurge and divulge and just find comfort in knowing I’m being heard. Especially now. I can’t thank Y and C and C for being here for me especially of late. Even S and E the other day, despite the language barrier, I really felt we got somewhere. Thanks <3.

Today I visited B at the PA, I... I can’t even convey how I feel about what she’s going through. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. Dear dear DEAR God, please please please...you KNOW we are all hoping hard that everything will be okay. Thank you for everything.


*Exhale* I really feel like going away. Running. Escaping. If only for a weekend. Just the coast, or back to Sydney, Melbourne..or somewhere I’ve not been before. To be alone with my thoughts. Alone so I can realise. re-evaluate. seek clarity. Is that selfish? Sigh. I don’t even know anymore. SOMEBODY ACCOMPANY ME!!!? :D:D:D

Lotsa love, (which I know is very much reciprocated, so please dismiss this selfish post :P)
-Mizz

"I asked God for strength, and he gave me challenges to overcome..."

Boost.

Yes. Yes it's Justin Bieber. But this song has helped me keep going tonight. And reminded me that things are okay... I just need to trust in Him!

Life<3.

-Mizz.

PS Thank you for my parents, God. (:

out of hibernation.

Dearest Teacups,

Since I've already spammed you twice this morning, I've decided to post my already composed reply here, instead, as I know it will only be soon that you see this (:

Just caught up on your blog. The latest post (right-click,open in new tab) just makes me wonder and appreciate. God certainly speaks in mysterious ways <3. Thanks for awakening. For stirring. This song immediately played in my 'mindpod' (as you would say <3) as my eyes finished reading the last few lines... I can't deny there's a sense of depth.. an awakening.. a..Something in me ready to emerge. I think it's name is Holy Spirit. . . Welcome back (:

Yours,

Mizz

P is for...

Wow, it sure has been a while, hasn't it!?! I suppose my life has been so chocker-block of late I'd not even noticed! :P
That's not to say I've had nothing to blog about, mind you...there's may a mental post I've made.. ahh, apologies apologies (:

Hrmm, well here's something I started tonight, seems blogworthy enough....

-------


Now playing: Hide and Seek -Imogen Heap

There’s no other way to put it. I am starting to miss you. And I daresay I am even struggling slightly to recall, in this newfound silence, how life was before I met you.




P is for Provisional Licence!

Friday, 5 May marked this epic occasion. I am proud to say, my second attempt at proving myself worthy for Queensland roads was a SUCCESS! With just ONE error!! (Was completely no fault of my own btw, I totes had right of way at this intersection, though driver marker Lisa said she’d mark it down so I would look out for it (: ) But yes, had a lesson right before this and as Mr Vo (of VoVo Driving -message me for his number, he’s super dooper teacher and awesome value), said, ‘Miriam, hope you don’t need to book another test aye, the wait at this test centre is very long...” Massive encouraging. Hahaha, but rightly so as I made pretty much every mistake possible in the hour lesson prior to the test. *Seriousface.* The fact that I passed, let alone with only one MINOR fault astounded and shocked us both! :D In hindsight, and on a positive note, I suppose this meant I got them all out of my system! Come test time, I tried and apparently, succeeded, to get my calm on and ‘in the zone’ mentality (apparently I wasn’t initially concentrating very well). I prayed and prayed. I knew I was ready already!


P is for Perspective

Ever since Dan’s diagnosis, it’s as if nothing matters anymore, as much. Second thoughts are second nature. Like whether something is worth getting upset over anymore. The smaller things become less and less trivial. L I F E  G O E S  O N. And when I do burst, I am left questioning my reaction -was it worth it?

By the same token, the meanings of everything have magnified ten fold. It seems I have become more... attuned to everything around me. I find empathy comes easier, almost naturally to me now. I’m more compassionate. My faith has skyrocketed. I’m so appreciative of just, the littlest things.


P is for Prayer

Definitely something I’m doing more frequently. Just little hello’s to God. Telling him how I’m doing, asking for some feedback, strength, grace and guidance. Everywhere. Anywhere. Anytime. Whenever I’m uncertain or afraid. Or just grateful and happy.


P is for Patience

I’m thinking I’ll need a lot of this to get through what is to come. I’ve never had the experience of watching such a close friend of mine go through cancer, and everything that goes with it. Sure, I’ve had friends of friends -Monica, Jeffwin- and an Uncle -Uncle Joel- but never...never someone I’ve had such a connection with. And now.. I think right now the word is helpless. I sort of feel..helpless. I want to be there for him, there to support him, there to help him through this. But it’s hard to be there for him when he’s not even there...you know? It’s a little bit frightening...It’s like his spark has gone out...but I know it’s just grown dim. Corn and cheesiness aside, I like to think this is true, and that it’ll only come back stronger and brighter, Lance Armstrong style :P. (: (:


P is for Perseverance

/Persistence. Cause that’s what he’s gotta keep doing. It’s what we gotta keep doing. Being. It’s gonna be undoubtedly difficult. Admittedly I’ve no idea what to expect. And I’m starting to realise how brave and a bit naive it was to think this was going to be easy breezy peasy. This is becoming a challenge. And my mind keeps wondering. If I’m finding it hard -me, who’s only come to know him in a few months...then what of those who’ve known him for years? Those who know him inside out. Who’ve been with him through thick and thin. I wonder how they’re coping. I wonder if I have a right to worry. Given I lack an in-depth history with him. Or should I even feel I should be allowed to be there for him, considering this. Everything. Who am I, in this, and where do I stand?

Hmmm, well this is me.
<3. Mizz.

Oh. And some pics.

need haircut! To chop or trim? Also I kinda sorta like how this photo turned out... :P

Bicycle Cake for the BBQ last Sat! NOMMMM. Made by yours truly ;D!

Trust. In. Him.

I sent her my worries.
She sent me a reply.

I wrote it on my hand.
Strength, grace and courage please.

Happy Monday <3.

Romans 8:28

We all know that all things work for good for those who love God, 

who are called according to his purpose.
ihopeimwrongihopeimwrongihopeimwrongihopeimwrong....
TT_____TT

musical of the mind.

It's a shame you don't know what you're running from...

Now Playing: Your Biggest Mistake -Ellie Goulding.

Other songs that were on repeat in the mental jukebox today:

-Hurricane Drunk -Florence and the Machine (especially.)
-Realise -Colbie Caillat (:3)

-Man of a Thousand Faces -Regina Spektor, (just a few times tonight..)

I'm glad people can't hear the music that plays in my head. It'd be much too much of a giveaway.

Yes. Had our brains speakers, I would most likely fail at life and the game of subtlety.

Knowledge. Powerful thing innit?

Curiosity Killed The Cat...
Ignorance is Bliss
and
What you Never Know Won’t Hurt you.

To put it simply, if she were a cat, she’d be dead.

Mmmmm... this melancholy madness. 

--------

It's been a week of sorts. 

Erratic, untimely, core-shaking, mixed bag sorts. Fear and Courage. Tears and ... sigh. Every other emotion that ever existed, it seems.

sounds a lot like love....

Ha. I wish I could laugh it in the face.

But this is becoming more than I anticipated. More _____ and more _____. Yep.

Happiness, hit her, like a train on the tra-a-ack. . .

Maniac mood. I feel I could conquer anything right now.

*maniac laugh*

It's a good thing I'm home on a Saturday night. A good thing indeed. And I'm too coward to turn off my phone. For lack of better word.. No. It's the word. 

Just sitting, waiting wishing. . . 

. . . must I always be playing, playing your fool? 

Wish I could be more assertive in this arena. 

But more assertion = more susceptibility to be trampled on.

I guess it's about finding someone who's worth it.

Ready and waiting, for a heart worth the breaking...

well I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of one sweet love

...Time that I've taken, I pray is not wasted

Have I already tasted, my piece of one sweet love?

 And I never felt so alive

Or so dead.

<3. the magic maniac musical mind of mizz. 

PS:, may as well make a game of this.

10 points if you can name all the songs and artists within this entry.

(No googling allowed.)

 

Viva la Love Story. . .

*edit*

here's the actual vid to the instrumental I was referring to last post. The passion and gusto is wowmazing. Listen to the entire thing, especially the end. So mega touching. Love at its best <3.
Check it (:, thank you Jeremy

Logbook.

Well ain't this an exciting revelation:

Suppose it's time to get road savvy! ;D

WATCH OUT YO!

Tops my Monday!

In addition to:

-A phonecall and quick skype catch up with my beautiful Stephy, and viewing the link to a video she helped make for her super friend, Michelle's birthday over the weekend. (,:! <3.

-Last-minute cramming for and confidently sufficiently (hopefully!) answering all the questions in today's exam (8.

-Dinner and a movie and a maccas run and a good catch up sesh with Dan.

-A phonecall from my giraffishly tall friend, Yannick :P.

...Just realised 2 of the 3-day loans I have from UQ are due tomorrow and since I've already got other important to-do's tomorrow, I'll have to squeeze all the notes out of them tonight before I return them tomorrow! (I would renew if I could, and am far too poor to pay the daily $4 late fine.) It's due Friday anyway, so I should really get a shuffle on anyhow, what with being rostered on for work for Thur & Fri anyway. D:

Well, off I go, hope you've all had a very merry Monday.

A joyous week to you all!

PS: Please channel all your positive thoughts this way! :L

With love,

Mizzicakes.

PPS: I've had this beautiful instrumental version (mash-up with Coldplay) of Taylor Swift's Love Story in my head ever since I heard it accompany the 21st video this morning. Took me a while to hunt down in the Tubes of You! But here it is, IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY AND DECENT-LIKE.

Suits my mood nicely and will go down well with a Jasmine Tea and some books I think. Time to don the glasses. Tired eyesss ~____~.

Weekend.

A weekend of extreme highs..and..not so highs!!
...

Friday was badminton with the two new Korean friends Dan and I made That Night, Sera and Ji Eun.

Yannick and I met them at Garden City bus stop before driving to Subway where we met Michael and had dinner. Together we all went to play badminton in ye ole School Hall. After a game, Mikey (who claims he wasn't aptly dressed for the occasion in jeans and a Star Wars printed tee), left us for Harry Potter 6, which they happened to be showing in M Block that night.
 
Colin met us later on after he finished work. We played our last round then decided we'd show the girls Mt Gravatt Lookout. It's totally been revamped! Well, I'd only been there once before but now they've thrown in this fancy new restaurant called 'Echidna Place' and arranged the foliage into a pretty little 'nature walk' alongside some play equipment, ie: swings and seesaw, a climbing frame and this whole seat/table contraption that can actually uhh..tilt/wobble?? Though it was occupied, unfortunately but I am definitely having a go next time!

For some reason, by this time I'd started feeling slightly nauseous...like dry salivating and having all this weird liquid pop up and say hi every ten or so minutes.. NOT GOOD.
My stomach was especially icky hurty and I wondered whether it was because I had had dinner slightly later than usual or cos I was hungry, post-sports.

I kept it quiet anyhow, just segregated myself from the crew a little to get some air (and save them from potential projectile, YES. IT WAS THAT BAD.) and after a few more happy snaps we decided to go to Market Square for a bite. Boys were boys and were quite the ravenous!

So, down the windy, light-post forsaken road of the Mountain of Gravatt we went! Me, in Colin's car and the girls taken hostage in Yannick's. SLOWLY. Least I told Colan too since I was oh-so queasy. Luckily he did have a stray plastic bag in the car for precaution (which was initially housing his container of takeaway seafood combo ho-fun noodles). . . I did use it. But not for anything major.. . . Yet.

We hit mini China-Town and my hero of a brother, Colin took the initiative to ask 7/11 for a plastic bag for me. Then...we sat in the gutter (classy, I know. Ironic thing was, I was sober?? :P) and after some persistent self-applied pressure to my belleh, I hurrrrrled! Nom. Sorry if you're eating hahaha.

Was liquidy and tuna-y and that's when I figured my predictions for the tummy ache were probably wrong, and could be most likely caused by the toonah sammich from Subberz. Or the mozzarella. Or a combination? -I never order either.. just felt like it. SADFACE.

Yan and the girls arrived shortly after, and remained oblivious. I didn't need to share, did I? Not something I would tell the whole world right? Or the interwebz. Ha. Ha.
Erm so we went to Malaya Corner, girls tried Malaysian Laksa for the first time. Loved it. I just had noodles in a vegetable soup since my stomach was pretty weak still, and Y and C had salty fish fried rice and chicken rice respectively. NOMMM.

Well.. it did all fare quite well. We all paid about $10 for our ginormous bowls (me = $9.90, bargain!, and by ginormous, I mean I could stick my face in my bowl if I wanted, no problem *seriousface*.)

Until... tummy decided not to absorb delish noodles or veg-ables and I had to take a trip outside for a "breather" and proceeded to feed the lawn beside the footpath with some well chewed yummies.

Hrrmm so.. yeah dinner x4 and not the slightest bit full );.

Yannick sent Sera and Ji home after and Colin dropped me at miiiine. Wish I had felt betterrrrr. Oh well.

Saturday. I headed to the library like a good student does. *errr, or perhaps student freaking out about passing an exam worth 45% tomorrow rather!
Then came home around 3.30pm where my Auntie and her family were chilling. (:
Curry puffs and cake and mini meatpies and cookies. YES PLEASE.

Not too much of an occasion cept a bit of an early, spontaneous party for my uncle's birthday! YEYAH!

Went for a run after they left, went to church then home for dinner and studehtaimez.

TODAY was just me..waking up at 6am..reading up on study in bed (not a good idea) ..then falling asleep..waking..reading..falling asleep... AND REPEAT.

Bit of photocrastination. Wasn't quite fast enough for the L-O-V-E initially... there were a few more attempts but you get the gist. . . xD

Actually got out of bed around 8? Then had some breakfast and read some more til lunchtime. Then it was CRUNCHTIME.
study.. study.. then a run.

And then I got The Message.

I am a fan of surprises, yes but this wasn't anything I was expecting. Far far from it.

Then I stumbled across this just about an hour ago that a workmate posted up on his facey.
This one is for You. Hang in there <3 <3 <3.

Back to the books. Wish me luck.

Wish HIM luck. 

Pray.

LOVE.

LIVE.

(8

<3

Mizzzz.